Forgiveness
by Beckon
Summary: He had his saying and she had her own, but how far were they willing to go to make honesty out of those words?


**A/N: I honestly wish I had more ideas for this couple so that all my stories would stop ending in tragedy. One day, I'll get an idea for a full story. One day.**

"_To be honest, I personally think the heart's only there to be broken; it doesn't serve any other purpose aside from that." _

She always thought it was stupid of him to say such a thing; she never missed a chance to ridicule him on it. It never seemed to affect him and he only used her as a primary example of it. The first time he told her that, she found herself almost outraged by it- only to mock herself for such a reaction later one. The more she brought it up, the more he only repeated that same comment again and again.

The next few times were met with less and less anger.

By the time it hit the last few drifting words, she found herself almost… affected by it. It wasn't like it hurt her, or that she would allow for something like that to get in her way, but damnit it did! Did her cold-hearted attitudes and hard-headed thoughts really drag them down to this level? Was there anything to salvage after this?

It went from an annoyance to a burden almost.

How many times were those words going to ring again and again in her head? How many nights was she going to spend staying up as she tried to dissect every aspect available? This 'thing' between them had very little chance of getting labeled with something other than second handed words. It was more of an act at times but every now and again… she let herself free behind the dropped curtain that seemed to surround this stage they played on. It was irritating. How could she let herself fall so low? How could she let herself trip over him like that? Like she was some kind of damn schoolgirl with her first crush?

He wasn't her first time.

But… sometimes she wanted to accept the fact that he made it worth it.

Every struggle and fight that coursed between them; every night that was spent desperately trying to ignore the memory of the other beneath those thick covers; every morning that only seemed to warm up the violent heat between them; he made it worth it. He reminded her that after every fit and outbreak, there was something to look forward to.

It wasn't easy for either of them to apologize for something that had been eagerly blamed on the other, but sometimes he did; she did so rarely but still… the words of apology had crossed her lips once or twice.

"Kaname, I want to speak to you."

"My door is always open, Captain Soifon."

She took note that he didn't even bother to look up from the book in hand; fingertips steadily glided across every page to trace and understand the differently organized dots underneath. Shaking her head, she crossed her arms over her chest. "Are we really going to play this game?"

"What game are you talking about?" he questioned in return as he flipped onto the next page. "Is there one you want to discuss?"

Shaking her head, she stepped out from the open doorway and into the dimly light room that served as a small, personal lounge area; she knew he seemed to enjoy the place for it's solitude and collection of books that slowly began to fill the surrounding bookcases shelf by shelf. She didn't know how long he had been collecting the differently colored books, then again nor did she really care much for it. Fingers grasped at the opened top of the book before she pulled it effortlessly from his hands; tossing it aside as though it was the crumbled remains of an outdated newspaper instead.

"Alright, well you have my attention now."

Eyes narrowed as her own question seemed to flutter lightly from the tip of her tongue. "Did you mean what you said earlier? About me proving that little saying of yours?"

A quiet chuckle left him as he leaned back into the leather chair behind him. "I wasn't aware such a small comment could… dethrone you so easily."

"Oh please, just get to the point; it's a yes or no answer."

"It's a bit more complicated than that, but for that moment it was yes."

"Is it going to stay that way?"

He turned his head in her direction as though to look at her, although the white of his eyes proved otherwise. "Why do you act so worried about it? Did it hurt your feelings?"

She picked up on that almost mocking change in tone with those last five words; it was like he was patronizing her now. He was only able to pull that off because he figured out how to stay a step away from the crossing line that often times pushed her towards physical violence. She didn't know how he managed to figure it out but it sure as hell got on her nerves sometimes. For some reason though, she always let him go off with a warning- she supposed he was too 'entertaining' to just let go. "No, not at all; I just wish you wouldn't relate me to something so ridiculous."

"… You really are upset about that." he started. It wasn't always easy to depict when her tone was false and she was just using a harsher one to cover up a short lie, but somehow he managed to find his way to pull them apart. She hated him for it sometimes and sensing from her energy once more… she absolutely detested him right now.

"You make me wish murder was legal sometimes."

A short chuckle left him as he carefully knitted his hands together in front of him. "Don't worry, Captain Soifon, your secret is safe with me."

She only glared back at the relating Captain with a sense of scorn as her hands dropped to her hips; it was her turn to chuckle this time though. "Well, while you live by one motto, I live by another one just the same."

"Do enlighten me."

"It's impossible for a secret to exist between two people, unless one of them is dead."

"That is quite frightening."

"Indeed it is, Kaname, so feel free to keep that secret… for now anyways."

"Was that a threat or are you trying to provoke me with something?"

**X**

"_You can never keep a secret between two bodies, unless one of them is dead."_

She was usually true to her word, he knew that was always going to be a constant with her.

It was a terrifying attribute sometimes, seeing as he had no doubts that she would go as far as needed to keep the last piece of her words true. And seeing as she always liked to label what was between them as a secret… well that just always added a bit more of discomfort to it.

He listened to the sound of her groan softly as her smaller form stretched up into a small arch; her spine pushed into a 'C'-like form. The loose material of her uniform had been replaced by her more form-fitting Special Ops suit that might've given into the subtle shapes of her body. She had just returned from a mission and yet seemed even more restless than she was when she left at the break of light that morning.

"You seem worried."

A soft chuckle left him as he glanced over to see where she had made herself seemingly comfort in the open lobby of his Division House; her body taking sheer comfort in the small couch that had been set in one corner of the large room. "You're in a good mood… that never leads to anything of the same nature."

"So I'm a monster now?"

"Yes."

She pushed herself up from the soft cushion beneath her and glanced over to where he had busied himself with paperwork; how he managed to do so was beyond her but it was entertaining to watch regardless. "The answer comes to you that easily then? No hesitation?"

"Yes."

"Sounds fair enough."

"Well until you give me reason otherwise, my answer's going to stay that way."

Shrugging to herself, she fell back against the cushions and tucked her arms beneath her head. "That would be a frightening though."

"You giving me a reason to change my answer? Yes, yes it would be." he replied as he leaned back in his chair; taking a momentary break from the paperwork before him. "Why exactly are you here again?"

"What? You don't enjoy my company."

"Depending."

"If I had to be honest, I'm just here to avoid my Lieutenant; I can stand to be around you more than I can around him." she shrugged. "Although your own Lieutenant keeps trying to hit on me, I'd like for you to fix that problem."

"As far as anyone knows, you're free game, remember?" he reminded.

"Until one of us is dead, then I suppose that would make a honest meaning out of those words."

"Until then, I suppose you'll have to deal with his unwanted advancements." he remarked. "However… should he choose to cross the line at any given moment… I'll be sure to at least try to keep your 'honesty' in place."

"My hero." she replied sarcastically.

**X**

The battle was waning and moving on; different fighters were coming in to take over and pushing aside those far too injured to continue.

Her strength was depleting as her body tried to function with what little blood was still left in her. Her mind wanted to scream that she had pushed herself too far this time; she didn't have strength for those last few moves but damnit to hell if she was going to give up that easily. Every part of her ached as she forced herself to move from the spot that had threatened to be her grave. Fingers tending to the empty space that had once been occupied by her left arm; a tightly-knitted tourniquet kept her from bleeding out anymore than she already had- it could barely keep her from losing consciousness though.

She was fading.

And she was fading fast.

But there was one last thing she had to do.

"Did you give it up because of me?" the harsh question was barely able to force itself from her bloodied lips as her lungs burned with every sharp gasp and pant that crippled her speech. "Did you give your heart away because… I kept breaking it?"

Why did she ask him that? Why did she think now was the appropriate time to do so? But damnit, she needed to know! She needed to know… she needed to hear it from him and him alone. Their paths had changed drastically; they picked their sides and somehow, they ended up on the opposite end; they ended up facing one another instead of standing beside each other. She convinced herself that she hated him; that all of this was his fault.

But now, in this moment of pain and suffer; the blinding agony that threatened to take her life and was already taking his… things were different.

"In the end… it's finally a secret… isn't it?" he whispered back to her.


End file.
